As a 21st Century man, I have many roles.
I don’’t live in a world where a man comes home after a long day at work, sits on the couch and everyone scatters to serve him.
I’’ve never lived in that world, I’’ve only seen it on TV.

Most of the guys I know come home and help with the kids.
Or make dinner.
Or clean up after dinner.
Or taxi kids to practice.
Or work in the yard.

We do lots of things. Sure, there are things we know we should do.
Like tackle that honey-do list.
Or be better at our relationships.
Or be a spiritual leader.

What a minute . . . did you catch that last one?
Spiritual leader.
Sounds pretty . . . well, huge.
Daunting.
Intimidating.
Does that mean I’’m like the Pope of my family? The pastor of Poplar Lane?

““Honey, now it’’s time for our Bible study. Turn with me to John 4 and listen to my three-point sermon.”” I don’’t know about you, but that one hasn’’t worked too well in the past for me. It just feels awkward.
And I usually walk away feeling less spiritual when things go differently than I expected.

Now, I’’m not saying you shouldn’’t talk about spiritual things with your spouse.
But leading is about more than teaching.
Or even having a Bible study together.

Leading can also be . . .

  • Sharing what you’’re learning in Scripture on your own, and asking your wife what she’’s learning.
  • Giving your wife moments of rest——including “nights out” with her friends that will give her time to laugh, have fun, and not be tied to the family agenda.
  • Watching the kids while she goes to a women’’s Bible study, or taking over “taxi” duties for the night so she can be freed up to go.
  • Helping her get the house ready if she hosts a Bible study.
  • Getting the kids fed and ready for church on a Sunday morning.
  • Serving alongside your wife in an area of ministry.
  • If she’’s going on a weekend retreat, have a plan for how you will handle everything so she can have peace of mind while gone. (Moms worry. So do dads, by the way.)
  • Text her and ask her how you can pray for her today.

Here’’s the thing——you’’re not the source of all knowledge. Nor are you “the source” for everything for your spouse.

So, sometimes leading means leading your wife to places where she can be refreshed and restored.
Places where God can speak to her heart.
The goal is to lead her always to Christ——even if that requires some sacrifices on your part.
It’’s one way you can love her like Scripture commands, like Christ loves the church.

Tim Walker is an editor on the MarriedPeople team, and blogger at timswords.com.